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It's
a
season
for
believing
In
the
majesty
of
God.
For
there
in
the
Summer
meadow
Are
His
footprints
in
the
sod.
--Clay
Harrison
|
 June
23,
2012,
3:51
PM:
Just
another
Saturday,
the
summer
solstice
visiting
sun-drenched
Florida.
But
it
was
a
solstice
that
seemed
to
be
bursting
forth
in
an
unusual
fury,
that
moment
when
a
roar
emanated
from
the
heavens
and
the
summer's
heat
was
suddenly
descending
in
a
fiery
shower.
No
one
saw
it
coming.
They
were
just
going
about
the
normal
business
of
their
lives
when
they
had
their
ultimate
rendezvous-with-destiny.
It
just
happened
that
something
they'd
done
in
their
lives--and
done
again
and
again
and
again--made
God
mad
at
them.
Most
likely,
they
all
sold
their
souls
at
one
point
or
another,
perpetrating
crimes
against
sanity
or
conspiring
to
make
this
world
a
very,
very
frightening
place
for
the
good
people
sharing
society
with
them,
just
to
indulge
their
own
selfish
wants.
On
this
day,
it
seems,
the
Devil
was
calling
in
many,
many
markers.
See
map
below
for
the
ground
mayhem
in
detail,
or
click
here
for
a
complete
casualty
count!
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Ground
Casualties
1)
American
Prosthesis™
AmpuTheater
Kenny
G
"Oodles
Of
Noodling"
World
Tour
2012
- Dead:
1,411
- Wounded
by
debris:
277
- Burned
by
fire
and
superheated
hair
gel:
977
Where'd
they
die
again?:
Return
to
Map
2)
Bi-Bowl
Field
Promisekeepers
2012
(Ground
Zero)
Ancillary
Casualties:
- 1,553
widows
who
will
turn
to
prostitution,
lesbianism,
and/or
witchcraft
and
hanging
out
at
Chippendale
shows,
drunk
on
Cosmopolitans
- 3,552
fatherless
children
who
will
continue
secretly
doing
drugs,
attending
Eminem
concerts,
pipe-bombing
telephone
booths,
and
having
sex
in
the
backseats
of
1995
Honda
Civics.
Where'd
they
die
again?:
Return
to
Map
3)
Wal-Mart
#445066:
(Location
of
death
within
store
in
parenthesis)
- Dead:
- 27
(Fishing
Accessories)
- 14
(Country-Western
CDs)
- 59
(Lawn
Accessories)
- 51
(Guns/Ammunition/Religious
Statuary)
- 74
(Beanie
Babies/Pokemon
Figures
&
Accessories)
- 7
(Louie
The
Big-Mouth
Bass
endcap)
Where'd
they
die
again?:
Return
to
Map
4)
Ron
Popeil
Presents
American
Info-Mirth
- Dead:
- Tony
Little
- Anthony
Robbins
- Dionne
Warwick
- Loretta
Swit
- Graham
Kerr
- Chuck
Norris
- Christie
Brinkley
- Suzanne
Sommers
- Bernie
Kopell
- Allen
Rachins
- 59
residents
of
Hexane
Meadows
Mobile
Estates,
North
Remora
Beach
Where'd
they
die
again?:
Return
to
Map
5)
Hot
Dog-On-A-Stick
- Wounded:
4
employees
(Burns
[melted
Styrofoam
uniforms])
Where'd
they
die
again?:
Return
to
Map |
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